On the First Day of Christmas
by Ensiho
Summary: Not really original so far as titles go. Crack, Demyx tries to get everyone to sing a Christmas Carol.


Authors Note:

To pass the time until I come up with a GOOD Holiday XIII fic…here you all are.

On the First Day of Christmas…

All of the black-cloaked nobodies were standing around in the large white room commonly used for group meetings. Saix was currently standing in between both Roxas and Axel, and for once neither made a move for eachother: They didn't want the Luna Diviner mad. Demyx _still_ hadn't regained full use of his arm since that last incident involving the blue-haired nobody's claymore. Axel was trying to resist the temptation of setting Saix's cloak aflame, and Saix was resisting the urge to knock that glare clean off Axel's face, along with the rest of his head.

Luxord was busy both guzzling as much eggnog as he possibly could, and keeping his precious box of alcoholic goodness away from the ever-thirsty Xaldin. Larxene was carefully watching every move Saix made, and Zexion and Lexaeus were being silent in the corner together, glaring at everyone in their holiday joy. Vexen was discussing 'literary' matters with Xemnas, who wasn't even really paying attention at the time. Then finally there was Marluxia, who was throwing a fit about how unsafe the lights on the Christmas tree were for the tree itself.

And then there was Demyx, who'd just now made it into the room. Still carrying his Sitar, he looked around at everyone with a broad grin on his face. Contrary to what he'd expected, no one smiled back; except for Luxord and Xigbar, but they were so drunk off of the eggnog that at that point they would have smiled at a dog ripping their arm off. He decided to ignore those two and continue on with the meeting. This was the first meeting he himself had called, and the first meeting called by anyone but Xemnas. He wasn't entirely sure how they'd all take it.

"Guys...guys…hey GUYS." He shouted above the clamor. Slowly, silence returned to those that had been talking. Everyone turned slowly to look at him, and he cleared his throat nervously. "Its Christmas time and no one's done any…singing." He was ready to avoid anything that might be thrown at him at this moment. Peaking through his fingers, he saw the only one that'd attempted to do such was Saix, who's claymore was frozen to his hand, compliments of Vexen, who seemed intrigued enough to stop the berserker from knocking Demyx out cold.

"And I was thinking we should do at least one…everyone knows this one, right?" He pulled his sitar into playing position and strummed a chord only the non-drunk members recognized. There was a small murmur among them, everyone looking to each other and not sure what to think. Demyx was the first to start his song.

"On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me---" He began.

"A haircut." Marluxia snickered behind him.

"I wouldn't be talking, flower-man." Demyx glared at him from the corner of his eye. Before he could protest, Demyx continued. "Xigbar, you're up!"

Xigbar looked around, bewildered. Upon the other's staring at him, he looked to Demyx for help. The sitar-wielding nobody signed something to it and achieved the one-eyed organization member's understanding.

"On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me a new eye patch!" He smiled with his clever answer to what he'd taken to be a Christmas riddle. In the background, Marluxia was still complaining.

"What about that pretty flower one I got you!?" He wailed. They continued over him.

"And a haircut!" Even Larxene chimed in to annoy Demyx.

"On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me Axel's death." Saix glared at Axel and received on in return. Axel took it upon himself to announce the fourth day.

"On the fourth day of Christmas, Roxas gave to me extra-strength hair gel!" he beamed at Roxas.

"Axel's death." Saix seemed quite unamused.

"A new eye patch!" Xigbar almost seemed as drunk as Luxord and Xigbar.

"And a new haircut!" Marluxia had taken to ignoring the others and saying just this line.

"On the fifth day of Christmas, Axel's gonna give to me some new underwear!!!" he sang out at the top of his lungs. Silence fell until Axel, his face burning a crimson red, continued on.

"I'm all out of mine…that was my favorite bottle…" He muttered to himself.

"Axel's death."

"I swear I didn't throw that pink daisy one away…" Xigbar looked carefully over at Marluxia, who wasn't paying attention at all.

"You seriously need a haircut." Marluxia sighed.

"On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...wait…why am I singing? I have no true love…" Zexion broke down into sobs and fell into Lexaeus' shoulder, crying his poor heart out. Lexaeus looked at him like he was nuts, but didn't push him off either way.

"Axel keeps _stealing_ mine." Roxas stared pointedly at the Flurry of Dancing Flames, who once more flushed a crimson red in his face.

"My hair doesn't look good not spiked…"

"Axel's Death."

"Trust me; _no one _wants to see me without an eye patch on…"

"And a haircut, because mullets went out of style a while ago." Demyx was near tears in how horribly this was all going. Truly it wasn't that hard to just say what you wanted for Christmas and keep repeating that, was it?

"On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me," Vexen was speaking instead of singing, but good luck getting him to sing no matter what the occasion, "The new book about the multiple uses of the different forms of ice…that'd be interesting…"

"No one ever loved me!" Zexion was still sobbing.

"Lord knows what he does with them…" Roxas stared pointedly at Axel.

"I love you, Roxas!" Axel smiled innocently at the younger nobody.

"_Die, _Axel, _die_!!!" Saix took his claymore to the flame-dancing organization member.

"A nice leather one would do…" Xigbar struck a thoughtful pose.

"And a haircut." Demyx sniffed, growing continuously sadder by the phrase.

"Onna eif day o' Christmasss, my too loff gafe to me…" Luxord was barely standing, and it was anyone's guess how long he'd last before he passed out. Tipping his eggnog carton upside down, he tossed it into the pile where there must've been at least seven other boxes. "summo' eggog…we're aw out…" he nearly fell, but collided with an almost equally as drunk Xaldin.

"I mean…I know most of those things, but it's still interesting to read about…" Vexen was very soon deep in thought as well.

"I don't even know what my _name_ was!! I mean, Neioz?! What kind of a name was that?!" Lexaeus was soon feeling the wetness of his shoulder.

"Axel?!" Roxas shrieked, staring at the unconscious figure.

Axel twitched.

Saix grinned with satisfaction.

"They're really not that expensive…unless you want to go for the good ones…"

"A haircut...please…" Demyx was ready to walk outside.

"On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me some daggers!" Larxene had an evil grin growing on her face, and everyone inched slowly away from her.

"Xaldin…we're out of eggog…" The drunken Luxord staggered over to the larger nobody, leaning against him to prevent himself from tripping over his own feet.

"I wonder if there are any uses I have yet to discover…" Vexen wandered off thoughtfully, excluding himself from the caroling everyone had so painfully destroyed.

Zexion continued sobbing.

"Axel, get up!!!" Roxas was near an explosion as Axel started to drool.

"I got my wish, Santa." Saix was almost in tears laughing.

"But the good ones are pretty comfy…I want a leather one…"

Demyx sat down wondering how such a simple thing could go so horribly wrong.

"On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me…a dozen roses." Marluxia grinned like a kid on Christmas (pardon the pun).

"Daggers to murder you all dead." Larxene clapped her hands together in a maniacal way that caused even the drunken Luxord to stagger to the other side of the room.

"Hehe…eggog…" Luxord had a random giggling fit and Xaldin joined in. All until Lexaeus decided he was in an eggnoggy mood, stepped away (leaving Zexion to sob harder now that he'd been left alone) and walked over to them. Upon reaching for one of the cartons, he was bombarded with razor edged cards, several spears, and knocked across the room. Everyone made a note to stay away from the eggnog for fear of the strength they both possessed while drunk. Saix made a face and stepped away from the bleeding figure on the ground.

Zexion now had no shoulder to cry on and was sitting cross-legged on the floor, sobbing to the ceiling. Larxene mumbled something about shutting him up, and Demyx made a dive for him for fear of the female nobody's wrath, since Vexen was no longer there to state his wish. Roxas was still trying to get Axel to get up, and after making sure his robe was not stained by Lexaeus' blood, Saix resumed laughing. Xigbar glared at everyone who seemed to be ignoring his small wish. Demyx started to tear up: all he wanted was a simple Christmas carol, how could it turn out like this?

"On the eleventh day of Christmas, Kingdom Hearts gave to me the end of this foolish game." Xemnas walked off.

No one bothered singing the rest of it. It'd failed so miserably that no one really wanted to torture Demyx any more to continue the Christmas carol. Luxord looked from Xemnas to Xaldin and back, snickering under his breath.

"Captain Mansex, awaaaaaay!" He made it sound like he was a super-hero, even through his drunken state. Xaldin laughed along with him, but unfortunately the Superior had yet to make it out of the room, whirled on them, and sent them both screaming through the castle corridors.

On Christmas Eve, Axel woke up, which was good enough for Roxas. Xigbar got his eye patch; however, it was from Marluxia, and so in the shape of a daisy. Xaldin and Luxord checked the fridge and found it to be stocked full of cartons of Eggnog, which was just what they needed after that last incident. Lexaeus opened his present to find quite a length of gauze and band aids, and also and ice pack for the large bruise on his face. Zexion never left his room, and was still sobbing into the pillows (Xigbar timed him and found out he'd been sobbing for a good seven hours, and wondered when his eyes would shrivel into little black holes). Xemnas actually bought some roses for Marluxia, which was a surprise to everyone; until, of course, they discovered (Marluxia, painfully) that he'd hidden some poison ivy inside the leaves unseen to everyone, including the Graceful Assassin. This was good enough for Xemnas, who actually had a laughing fit as Marluxia sprinted off to his room upon the appearance of his rashes. Demyx was depressed over the fact that he'd woken up with his hair cut short, compliments of Larxene (who'd used her new gift given to her by Xemnas as well. He seemed to like tormenting the others. Axel had come out of his concussion enough, however, to give him his gift; hair extensions…which had been the wrong color blonde anyway). Saix's Christmas wish had been shattered when Axel woke up that morning, and he was increasingly angry with the brochure Xemnas had given him (_Do you find yourself angered very easily? Do you take it out on others? Do you want it to stop? Well come to 'Happy Heartless Anger Management Courses!! _The Brochure read, hinting at his gift, which was several prepaid courses for him). Vexen had been in the corner for a while, reading the gift he'd received.

For all the Organization, it was close enough to be considered a happy Christmas, seeing as it was only one of the few they'd ever celebrated. Demyx learned to never try the caroling again, for fear of losing the precious hair he'd so carefully grown back. Everyone made sure to stay clear of Luxord and Xaldin during their time lapses in which they drank as much as they possibly could. Xigbar once had to stop them from playing a drunken game in which they held their hand out on a table, closed their eyes, and stabbed a knife in between their fingers as fast as they could; he decided to put a stop to it as they tried doing it blindfolded. No one knew if there would be another Christmas, but everyone was hoping as decorations fell.


End file.
